An Uninvited Visitor
by MadelineSnape Esq
Summary: Voyager is finally home, Kathryn takes Chakotay home with her for a little rest, relaxation, and to recover from seven years away. Yet Phoebe keeps interrupting their perfect mornings. Equal parts J/C and the Janeway sisters.


Note: I watched Voyager when it first aired back when I was a kid/teenager and I was very fond of the pairing between Tom and B'Elanna. The first fanfic I ever published on the internet was about them. Thankfully it has been (or I really hope it has been) lost to the ether that is the internet. Last year I started watching Voyager again on Netfix and was quite quickly drawn to the relationship between Janeway and Chakotay and while it didn't seem to bother younger me I am now seriously bothered by the fact that the two were not allowed to be together in the TV series. I therefore started reading and then writing my own J/C fic. And I figured I should start posting some of them. I hope it is worthy of Voyager, the character and those reading it. Thank you.

_Disclaimer- I own nothing I wish I did but I just get to play with the characters._

An Uninvited Visitor

Day 1

Kathryn Janeway let out a content sigh as she began to wake up. She didn't bother opening her eyes, she didn't have anywhere she needed to be and she was far too content. She could feel the sun on her skin through the window. It felt nice after seven years on a starship. Then there were the strong arms wrapped around her, keeping her both safe and warm. The arms belonged to Chakotay and she had waited a long time to find out how it felt to go to sleep and wake up in these arms. She wasn't going to rush out of bed unless it was to get in a shower with him. A real shower with water.

Everything had changed so fast in past six weeks, starting with Voyager's return. Yet that was only the beginning. Soon came the reunions both good and sad. She had tried to meet with all the families of the crew she had lost over the years. A few politely declined saying they didn't want to open old wounds and a few she discovered no longer had any family left. There were also celebrations—parties and ceremonies—memorials to those who were lost and meetings with so many different people.

Their homecoming had been a whirlwind. This, Kathryn had expected but it was even worse than she had anticipated. Many nights she practically ran to the safety and solitude of her quarters in desperate need of peace and quiet. Her main concern had always been for her crew and her first task was to make sure they were properly taken care of by Starfleet. This had turned out to be a non-issue, Starfleet had commissions and promotions for everyone who was interested in staying with the fleet. The next step was getting everyone connect with their families. A task that was harder and far more complex. The logistics alone proved to be tricky given the limited space on the ship.

Starfleet command requested they remain on Voyager so that the entire crew was available for debriefings. Shore leave therefore had to be coordinated so the crew got to see the people they had been separated from and missed over the past seven years. Yet they still needed to be around when Starfleet wanted to talk to them. It was exhausting work, but Kathryn reminded herself frequently that they were home and this was far better than being 30,000 light years away. On the plus side, subspace communication allowed the crew to contact their family and friends whenever they wished. Kathryn herself had taken to talking to her mother every morning as she enjoyed her coffee.

Voyager had never been a normal starship but over the past seven years they had found routines and created their own normal. All of that had been throw out the window when the Earth came into view. Maintenance, repairs, and general upkeep to the ship was no longer required. Voyager would soon be returned to Utopia Planitia for a complete overhaul and refit. Duty shifts were cut as there was very little the crew needed to do besides operating the transporters. As a result people were everywhere all over the ship, all day long. The senior staff quickly implemented a curfew on visitors. All guests had to be off the shop by 23:30—unless they had been given permission to remain overnight. The curfew was lifted at 06:30 the next morning giving everyone seven hours of peace—which was better than nothing. And once this rule was put in place the crew on board were finally able to get some sleep.

One night at the beginning of their third week home Kathryn had retreated to her quarters after yet another dinner honoring her and her crew. The Admirals had managed to keep her there far longer than she would have preferred. Now she was looking forward to a long hot bath and crawling into bed for at least five hours. She had just removed the long jacket of her dress uniform when her door chimed.

"Yes" she called out, the exhaustion evident in her voice.

Kathryn was surprised when her first officer enter the room. They hadn't had much time to talk over the last few weeks. Between all the activity on Voyager and the slight awkwardness that had settled between them, they had been avoiding personal conversation.

"Evening Chakotay can I get you anything to drink?" she asked politely. She had just replicated herself a fresh cup of coffee to counteract any lingering effect of the wine from dinner.

"No thank you, mind if I sit down?" he asked. He seemed slightly out of sorts and she hoped if she ignored it he would relax.

"Of course" she smiled pointing at the chair across from the couch where she was currently sitting.

"Thought you might like to know that all our visitors have left the ship." He informed her with a quick grin as he sat down.

"Oh good and I'm going to stop you right there." She said throwing up her hand. "If someone hasn't made it back to the ship tonight who was supposed to, I don't want to know." She objected before he could continue and she rubbed her forehead as a fresh wave of exhaustion washed over her.

"I honestly don't care about it anymore. If Starfleet want a dorm mother they can go find one themselves." He grumbled in annoyance and stretching his neck, clearly he was tired as well. This made her wonder exactly why he was there if all he wanted as sleep as well. "Seven years in the delta quadrant these people deserve to have some fun." He added and she resisted the urge to laugh.

"I couldn't agree with you more" she replied allowing a small smile to spread across her face.

"I'm actually not here on ships business. I think we should talk." He said bluntly and the smile quickly disappeared from her face. The pleasant atmosphere that had settled between them disappeared and she felt very uncomfortable on her own couch.

"If this is about you and Seven we don't-" she tried to stop him but he quickly cut her off.

"There is no me and Seven, not anymore. It was an…experiment…for both of us and we have agreed to end it. I really don't want to talk about Seven, we are friends nothing more." He corrected her taking her completely by surprise.

"I see…" she began but she didn't actually know how to finish the statement.

"I wanted to talk about you and me."

"Okay…what about you and me?" she asked nervously. The whole evening had taken a sudden unexpected turn with his appearance and she was having trouble keeping up with him. She wasn't sure what he was actually trying to accomplish or where he was planning to take the conversation.

"I want to explore beyond the boundaries we've had all these years. I want you and me to be an us. I want Kathryn and Chakotay to explore a committed relationship." He told her, there was no hesitation in his voice. He was making it clear exactly what he wanted but she was still having a hard time processing it all. She hadn't expected him to say these words to her.

"You do?" she replied shocked at his admission. She had only begun to adjust to the idea that he and Seven were together.

"Very much" he confirmed.

"But you and Seven clearly just ended things, don't you think you should take some time, get use to being home and decide what you truly want?"

"Is that what you want?" he asked turning the question on her. And she couldn't answer. The answer was 'no' but she couldn't be his friend and admit that. When she didn't speak he continued.

"You know what this whole thing with Seven showed me?"

"What?" she whispered curious and yet afraid at the same time.

"That you are the one I want to be with, the one I have wanted to be with for a very long time. And I was hoping you might feel the same way."

"I do" her voice was only a whisper but she wasn't about to lie.

"We are home, you did it Kathryn, now can we please just get to be with each other? I'm done waiting aren't you?" He demanded in his low calm voice and she couldn't deny the truth.

"Yes I am" she admitted softly.

"Does that mean we can give 'us' a try?" he questioned her hopefully.

"Absolutely" she grinned at him as tears threatened to fall.

"Thank the spirits" he cried. Grabbing her hand he stood up pulling her up with him and into his arms. He looked at her for permission and when she gave it kissed her.

From that point on they had spent every night with each other making up for all the lost time. Every once in a while she felt guilty and responsible for the end of his relationship with Seven, even though he told her repeatedly not to feel guilty. It was no ones fault, no one had done anything wrong. It took a few days but she finally began to believe him and put her guilt away.

Six weeks after pulling into orbit around Earth it was moving day. After all the meetings and parties and endless hours of talking had passed. Voyager was officially moved to Mars and her crew sent on leave, home to their families, friends, and love ones.

The previous evening had been her first night home with her mother in Indiana. Much to her relief Chakotay had been more than happy to come home with her. Honestly she didn't think she could have gone home without him. Now that they had finally begun a relationship the idea of being away from him felt unbearable. Her mother, thrilled to have both of them staying with her, cooked a giant welcome home feast. And naturally Phoebe had joined them.

The food had been delicious and they spent hours talking and laughing. She and Chakotay shared the more humorous stories from their long trek home. The serious ones could wait for a while. Over indulgence in both food and wine left the two of them feeling sleeping. Add to that the emotional toll they faced leaving Voyager earlier that day and they were exhausted. The two politely left her mother and sister behind and head up to her old room. It didn't take long for them to fall blissfully asleep.

Kathryn could now hear the birds chirping outside her window but she was perfectly content to continue laying there encircled by Chakotay's arms. It was the first time in seven years that she had truly nothing to do. No ship to run, no reports to read, no crew to interrupt her. She was free to do as she please and what she wanted was to stay in bed with Chakotay. Maybe in a little while they could partake in the activities they had been too tired to engage in the previous night. With a content sigh she decided to open her eyes and enjoy the view of the sun peaking through the curtains. Yet when she slowly opened her eyes it wasn't the sun that greeted her. Sitting on a chair a few feet from the bed sat Phoebe…watching her.

"What the hell?" she cried bolting upright in shock her heart banging in her chest at the completely unexpected sight.

"What's wrong?" Chakotay mumbled awakened by her sudden movements. He tried to sit up but she pushed him back down.

"Nothing, go back to sleep" she gasped trying to catch her breath. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Chakotay look at her as if she was crazy for suggesting it. He was probably right but she ignored his look.

"Phoebe what are you doing?" she demanded.

"Watching you sleep" her sister replied as if it was the most normal thing a person could do.

"What? Why?"

"Because I missed you."

"Phoebe you can't just come in to someone's room and watch them sleep. What if we had been naked?" She asked suddenly glad she had the foresight to put clothes on last night before falling asleep.

"You think you have anything I haven't seen before?" her sister laughed.

"That is not the point. Privacy Phoebe" she cried exasperated rubbing her forehead.

"You have been dead and missing for seven years I needed to make sure you were still here." The younger woman argued.

"By watching us sleep?"

"It's comforting to watch you sleep" she stated. Kathryn didn't understand how Phoebe could sit there calm as could be while she was have a slight anxiety attack.

"How long have you been sitting there?" she asked trying to calm herself.

"An hour…and a half."

"An hour and a half?" she yelled.

"Yes" the younger Janeway confirmed with a nod.

"Phoebe" she moaned. "Couldn't you have waited for breakfast?" She was trying to keep from getting mad. It never ended well when she fought her sister and it was only her first full day home.

"You two weren't going to be down for breakfast" she objected. And Kathryn couldn't argue with her.

"Well we will be now and you have watched us sleep, you have seen for yourself that we are still here. So can you leave now, please?" she begged.

"I guess so. I'll let mom know your up" Phoebe said standing up and slowly walking towards the door still watching them.

"I am sure she will be thrilled to hear what we woke up to" she threatened.

"You honestly think she will be surprised?" Phoebe called as she disappeared down the hall.

"Christ" she cried flopping back down on the bed next to Chakotay. "That was almost as bad as waking up to red alert."

"Has she done this before?" he asked looking at her confused.

"Nope this is new."

"I see…any chance the door locks?" he asked hopefully. She couldn't even imagine what he was thinking at that moment and she felt slightly embarrased.

"Nope my dad removed the lock function on the doors when I was five." Kathryn answered him after thinking for a moment.

"Dare I ask why?"

"One day when I was five there was a thunderstorm, I got scared, locked myself in here and hid under the bed. Then the tornado warning went off and I wouldn't come out." She propped her head up on her elbow so she could look at him as she told him the story.

"Didn't the door have an override?"

"My parents didn't know I had discovered how to lock the door. They had never gotten around to setting that feature up" she explained.

"If I remember correctly in case of a tornado one is supposed to go to the lowest part of the house." He said with a frown and she nodded in confirmation. "So here you were locked in your room on the second floor of the house with an impending tornado."

"Yes exactly" she said wincing a little at the memory.

"Your parents must have been frantic. I'm surprised you father did tear down the door. I certainly would have tried." He sighed as he began to run his hand up and down her bare arm. It was nice and to her delight he kept doing it as she continued with the tale.

"As my mother tells the story he sent her downstairs with Phoebe, who was only one at the time. He then took the door panel apart trying to force the door open. Thankfully the tornado didn't hit us and my dad got the door open. He pushed the bed aside and grabbed me. I remember him holding me so tight. My mother did the same thing when he took me down to her. My parents wouldn't let me out of their sights for days. Needless to say Phoebe and I never had doors that locked again." Kathryn concluded with a small laugh knowing he wouldn't be that surprised by her actions.

"I can certainly see why. Well since we are up can I interest you in a long warm shower?" He asked a grin playing on his lips.

"You certainly can."

Despite Phoebe's unconventional wake up call that morning the rest of the day was wonderful. After a homemade cup of coffee and breakfast, she and Chakotay had gone on a nice long walk. She showed him all the places she use to play in as a child. It was still a bit cold but they didn't mind, it was nice to be walking out in nature after years on a star ship with only bits of shore leave here and there. Mostly they simply enjoyed each other's company and the slow pace they could finally enjoy. After lunch they sat together on the sofa and just read. Dinner was spent talking with her mother and sister once more. Afterwards they lit a fire in her father's old study and enjoyed a bottle of wine before heading to bed.

Day 2

As Kathryn began to wake up the next morning she hoped to have a repeat of the wonderful day. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this relaxed and she was determined to enjoy it as much as she possibly could. She felt Chakotay's arm tighten around her and he nuzzled her neck bringing a smile to her face. They could finally wake up the way she had wanted to yesterday. Slowly opening her eyes she came face to face with her sister once more.

"Phoebe" she cried jumping out of her skin slightly but not bolting upright as she had done yesterday morning. She felt Chakotay look over her shoulder and then drop back down with a moan. Her sister on the other hand just sat there smiling at her.

"Why?" she demanded.

"I like watching you sleep" Phoebe quipted.

"How long do you plan on doing this?"

"I don't know until the fear that this is all a dream is gone and I don't wake up thinking you're actually dead." Phoebe answered making Kathryn feel guilty.

"Is there any other way we could accomplish that?" She asked diplomatically instead of yelling at her little sister like she wanted to. She had learned a great deal of patience during their long trip home. Yet she was having to use almost all of it when it came to her sister.

"Can't think of any other way."

"Have you tried?"

"Not really" she freely admitted.

"Could you maybe try?" Kathryn asked hopefully.

"I guess so."

"Thank you, could you go downstairs now?"

"Yeah, it isn't as peaceful when you're awake" she declared with a grin. "I'll tell mom you're up." She added getting up and walking out of the room.

"I take it this might become a thing." Chakotay commented as she lay back down next to him.

"It appears that way, I'm sorry. I'll talk to my mom."

"Did you dad completely remove the locking mechanism or just disable it?"

"Not sure but as I was a precocious child I suspect he removed it."

"Couldn't hurt to have a look."

"It certainly couldn't hurt. Shower?" She asked hopefully.

"A shower like yesterday's shower?"

"Absolutely" she promised.

"Then what are we waiting for?" He asked eagerly getting up and pulling her with him.

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"Mom can't you do something please?" Kathryn begged her mother a few hours later as they made sandwiches for lunch.

"Katie you know how your sister is, the more either of us pushes and fights her the worse it gets. Leave her alone and she will stop." Gretchen argued with a sigh.

"But she is watching us sleep, that isn't normal." She complained, she knew she was starting to sound slightly like a petulant child but she didn't care.

"What is normal?"

"Not breaking into a person's room and watching them sleep, that is normal." She answered flatly, she thought it was obvious.

"Honestly it is far from the worst thing she could do, you are asleep."

"Mom, that isn't really the point, it is very disconcerting to wake up to someone watching you." She grumbled becoming frustrated that her mother wasn't being more helpful.

"I will give you that but I don't see how I can actually get her to stop." Gretchen finished with the sandwiches and looked up at her daughter.

"Can't you at least try? What if Chakotay and I want to…" She cried and then stopped herself before she actually brought up the issue of the morning sex she had been deprived of for the past two days. There was only so much room in the shower for two people. Yet there were some things she was not going to talk to her mother about.

"Want to do what?" her mother asked expectantly.

"Nothing, it just isn't very peaceful to wake up this way and it would be nice if I could just wake up normally for once." She replied quickly trying to cover her near slip up.

"Okay I will talk to your sister but I wouldn't expect much from it."

"Thank you mom" Kathryn sighed.

"Why don't you go get Chakotay for lunch" Gretchen suggested giving her the chance to talk to him before they ate.

"We'll be down in a couple minutes" she replied heading for the stairs.

"How did it go with your mom?" Chakotay asked her hopefully when she walked back into their bedroom.

"You mean when I almost complained to her about not getting to have morning sex? Okay, she said she would talk to Phoebe but she thinks it better to just let her get it out of her system." Kathryn replied flopping down on the bed next to him.

"So we shouldn't expect her to stop any time soon?" he groaned

"Nope, how about the door." She asked hoping in vain that he had found a solution to their problem when she had not.

"Yeah about the door…just how precocious of a child were you?" He asked raising his eyebrows at her.

"I don't know you would have to ask my mother why?"

"Because you father made sure that door was never going to lock again." He informed her and she was beginning to realize she didn't know much about the door she had slept behind for half her life.

"So no hope then?" she sighed.

"I don't even think B'Elanna could find a way to get it to lock. The only way would be to replace the whole door." He confirmed with a frown.

"I think my mother would notice if we did that." She pointed out.

"I do agree that she will likely notice if Tom and Harry carried a door through her house. But they will do it if you ask." He reminded her and she thought about it for a moment, it was a tempting idea.

"Let's leave that as our last resort." she ultimately decided.

"Then I am out of any other ideas, she is your sister." He pointed out giving her a look.

"Great so we are going to have to just wait this out or find a new place to stay which would require a very uncomfortable conversation with my mother." She moaned frustrated at the situation. Why did her sister have to be so vexing.

"Or get a new door" he added

"At which point Phoebe will probably just find another way in." Kathryn admitted to him and herself.

"Waiting it out it is then" he declared.

"Apparently yes" she signed defeated.

Day 3

"Morning Phoebe" Kathryn grumbled when she opened her eyes the next morning. This time she had been expecting to see her sister and there she was in the same place as the previous two days. That morning she was drinking coffee.

"Morning" she happily replied.

"You know if you are going to do this you better be prepared to share that coffee." She threatened and much to her surprise Phoebe handed the mug right over. Carefully she sat up making sure not to wake Chakotay as she did.

"Since when did you start drinking it black?" Kathryn asked after she had consumed most of what was left in the mug.

"Since you went missing" Phoebe answered flatly.

"I'm sorry" she replied feeling the familiar sense of guilt.

"It wasn't your fault."

"Actually it was" she replied finishing the last gulp.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Phoebe asked.

Taken by surprise once more it took a moment for her to process her sisters request. Glancing over her shoulder at the man sleeping next to her she confirmed that he was still sound asleep. Nodding at her sister she very carefully slid out of bed and set to work getting dressed without distrubing him.

"What was it like out there?" Phoebe asked as they walked over the still barren ground. Spring was more than a month away and while the sun shone directly down on them a biting wind made Kathryn pull her jacket a little tighter around her before she answered.

"There are so many different answers to that question depending on what day it was. There were good days and bad days. Over the years we grew to be a family and yet some days I felt so lonely, we all had those days. Days when we missed home and the people we loved. It was harder before we found a way to let Starfleet know we were out there. Until that point we knew everyone back here thought we were dead." She tried to explain though it was nearly impossible to simplify the last seven years into words alone.

"What about the good days? Did you have some fun out there?"

"Yes we had fun, we found ways to make the best of the situations. There were friendly planets that welcomed us and offered shore leave. Plus there were a number of parties and occasions to celebrate. And then there was everything we got see and explore. Things no one has ever seen before and likely never will." She said thinking fondly back over the fun they managed to have to balance out the hurt and heartbreak.

"But you felt guilty." It was a statement not a question. Kathryn had forgotten how many secrets her sister knew about her.

"Yes I did. I destroyed our way home. I did it for a good reason but I made that decision on my own and sentenced over 150 people to wander the delta quadrant some of whom didn't come back."

"Isn't that what Captain's do? They make the hard decisions and every captain losses people. That is what Dad always said." Her sister argued.

"That is true" she conceded hearing her father's voice in her head.

"Do you think dad would have felt guilty?"

"I'm not dad" she replied sharply she didn't like being compared to her father anymore. Doing so only encouraged dark thoughts.

"No you're not, you always seem to find something to feel guilty about. Why Kathryn why do you always have to be guilty of something?" The younger woman demanded reminding her just how much her sister knew about her.

"I don't know Phoebe, I believe that is what is called a defining characteristic. I wouldn't be me if I didn't feel guilty." She answered and there was a bite to her tone. This wasn't a conversation she wanted to be having.

"Stop feeling guilty." Phoebe ordered her firmly not taking the hint.

"It's not that easy" she whispered.

"Does it ever go away?" Her sister asked her voice softening.

"I don't know."

"Do you still feel guilty for surviving the crash?" Kathryn wasn't surprised her sister was bringing their father's death up.

"Yes" she answered honestly.

"Dad would have wanted you to be the one who survived. He would have done everything he could have to make sure you did. I think Justin would have felt the same way. They wanted you to survive." Phoebe argued, it was a sentiment many people had expressed but this was the first time her sister had said it.

"Doesn't make it any easier to be the one who survived." Kathryn countered and she was beginning to regret agreeing to the walk.

"No I guess it doesn't." The younger woman conceded. They were both silent for a moment. "What about Chakotay?" Phoebe asked suddenly.

"What about him?" she replied confused at the quick change in topic.

"He must know you feel guilty about being in the delta quadrant."

"Oh he knows" she confirmed with a dark laugh.

"What does he think of it?"

Kathryn was about to give her the quick answer—that he and Phoebe thought much the same thing. But she stopped, it was more than that. Yes, Chakotay thought she had no reason to feel guilty but that was only the surface. For seven years he had tried to help her carry the burden she had placed on herself to get the crew home. He had always been there for her, supporting her and telling her when he thought she was wrong. He was her sounding board and he gave her strength when she had none. Thinking of him made the sense of guilt feel lighter. That was what he did what he always tried to do, he was there to try and take her guilt away. And he did.

"Kathryn?" Phoebe called out looking over at her concerned when she didn't answer.

"Sorry" she replied softly a tears appeared in her eyes.

"Are you okay? I didn't mean to push you I wasn't trying to push. Mom made me promise not to push you. Please don't cry." Phoebe exclaimed in dismay and pulled her forcefully into her arms so she could hug her.

"I'm okay" she whispered into her sister's ear.

"Then why are you crying?"

"Chakotay" she answered barely making a sound as she said his name.

"Why is he making you cry?"

As Phoebe loosened her hug all the words came pouring out. She told her sister everything she could put into words. Everything he had done over the years, all he had done for her. All the fights they had. She knew her sister didn't understand everything she was telling her but it didn't matter. She wanted Phoebe to know, she wanted someone to know.

"I nearly lost him" she croaked finishing her tale.

"It's a good thing you didn't. So he makes you feel less guilty?" Phoebe asked with a smile.

"He does everything, he finds a way to take my guilt away, to disagree with me when he should, to love me when I certainly don't love myself. And he is always there when I need him" she added.

"I never thought I would ever hear you talk like that."

"Like what?" Kathryn asked confused.

"So emotional and self aware, I like it a lot." Her sister grinned proudly at her.

"Seven years in the wilderness and one long walk with you was all it took." She joked managing a small smile.

"I'm glad you found each other, because I see the way he looks at you. He adores you and I can tell the feeling is mutual."

"It is" she said softly.

"Then I think I should get you back before he and mom wonder where we are."

"Sounds good I don't think I can feel my nose" Kathryn laughed.

"Do me a favor and don't tell mom I made you cry, she will kill me." Phoebe begged her with a wince.

"You didn't make me cry." Kathryn assured her and then on a whim she linked arms with her sister and they walked back home arm in arm.

Her emotions were still fresh as they walked through the back door into the kitchen. When she caught sight of Chakotay drinking coffee and talking to her mother her heart caught in her throat.

"There you two are" her mother cried happily.

"We wondered where you two went" he grinned at her.

Without saying a word she let go of Phoebe's arm and quickly closed the distance between them. Trying to be careful of his coffee she practically threw herself into his arms and hugged him tightly.

"I missed you too" he laughed.

"Thank you" she said her voice shaking slightly and far more serious than his.

"For what?" he asked confused but still laughing slightly.

"Everything" she replied. At these words tears suddenly appeared in her eyes once more and she buried her head in his shoulder to hide them. But she knew he could feel her shaking slightly in his arms and his laugh quickly faded.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly but she couldn't answer. "You're freezing" he cried as his hand came to rest on the back of her neck. She had forgotten to bring a scarf with her when they had left earlier.

"Why don't you two go start a fire in the study?" Phoebe suggested trying to help her.

"Do you want to do that?" he asked her and she managed to nod. "You need to let me go a little then" he whispered. She released one arm but kept the other one and her head where they were. Together they managed to walk slowly into the study.

"What about breakfast?" she heard her mother cry out but she left Phoebe to come up with some explanation.

When they entered the study Chakotay walked her over to the couch and then pulled back to look her over.

"What is all this?" he asked and all she could do was shrug. She didn't know how to explain any of her feelings to him. "Right" he declared taking control of the situation.

He first pulled off her coat and got her to take off her boots. He then wrapped her up in a blanket put her on the couch to sit while he started a fire. She missed the loss of contact but she didn't object, she knew he was coming back. Kathryn used the few minutes to try and compose herself, she thought she had been successful. Yet the moment he sat down next to her and pulled her onto his lap all the feelings came crashing back like a big wave. She wrapped her arms around his neck, laid her head on him and began to cry harder.

Everything she was feeling she let out in big ugly sobs. He patiently held her as she cried out seven years worth of emotions. He rubbed circled on her back but at no point did he try and stop her tears. She had no idea how long they sat there but eventually she managed to cry herself out. They continued to lay there in silence as her breathing evened out and she managed to calm down. Only when she was calm enough did he begin talking to her.

"Do you want to tell me what brought this on?" he asked gently.

"You and Phoebe" she told him softly.

"Care to elaborate?" he pushed her a little. She understood that her comment didn't make much sense to him and required further explanation she just wasn't sure how to proceed.

"I was talking to Phoebe about you and I realized a great many things I should have realized a long time ago."

"Good or bad?" he inquired.

"Mostly good on your part." She smiled weakly up at him.

"Do you want to share?"

"I'm not sure I can put it all into words but I'll try." She warned him before she began talking. Yet she felt she owed it to him to tell him how she was feeling.

They sat there for a very long time talking about the past seven years together. Kathryn began to admit to the feelings and emotions she had bottled up all those years. She had pushed plenty of her feelings aside in her focus to get them home. And it wasn't until now that she truly understood everything he had tried to do for her. She had always appreciated his support and strength but only now that they were home could she see just how much he gave to her.

To her surprise she wasn't the only one who saw things clearer now that they were home. He admitted to finally understanding why she did some of the things she did, he didn't understand them at the time but he did now. They were finally able to talk about those fights they had when they disagreed with the others choices. Something they could never have done if they were still on Voyager stuck in the delta quadrant. She admitted to regretting a few choices and he emphatically told her not to. This was a conversation they needed to have but it wasn't entirely easy. There where events and choices they both wished they could take back and a few wounds that they discovered still hurt. By the end Kathryn felt worn-out but she also felt lighter and more at peace with the past. This didn't mean she was ready to make concrete choices about her future but she knew with 100% certainty that her future would always include him.

After they were done they both felt exhausted, shifting on the couch they managed to lay there together watching the fire slowly die. At this point they didn't need to say anything more. They had always been good at unspoken communication and now was no different. Finally, warm and content Kathryn closed her eyes. She could feel Chakotay's breathing slow beneath her and soon they were both asleep.

When they woke up it was mid afternoon and they were both starving. In the kitchen they found leftover lunch waiting for them. Both her mother and sister were gone and Kathryn suspected they were giving the two of them some needed space. She greatly appreciated their thoughtfulness.

Kathryn knew her mother was worried about her. But thankfully the older woman held off on her questions and concerns until after dinner. For the third time that day Kathryn found herself talking about her emotions over the last seven years and more than once tears appeared. She was unaccustomed to these emotional conversations and three in one day nearly did her in. She was beyond tired by the time she and Chakotay climbed the stairs to her room that she barely changed clothes before collapsing into bed. Once his arms were around her she was out like a light.

Day 4

"Morning" Kathryn sighed greeting her sister the following day as she eyed the coffee in Phoebe's hand. She was feeling groggy and still tired. Her head hurt a bit as well, most likely caused by all her crying the day before.

"Morning, mom invited people over for dinner." Phoebe warned her as she handed over the mug of coffee without being asked.

"What?" she cried before quickly taking a drink. The mug was almost entirely full but only warm, yet she hardly minded. "Who?" she demanded.

"Family, the aunts and uncles…both sides. Cousins maybe I'm not sure."

"But why today? Why couldn't mom have waited? Why didn't she talk to me about this?" Kathryn demanded feeling frantic. The past seven years she had been in control and now it was becoming clear she wasn't in control. It was an unfamiliar feeling and she didn't like it. Panic rose in her.

"You've been home over six weeks, they want to see you, they keep pestering mom. And I'm pretty sure she didn't tell you because she knew you would say no."

"And there's a reason why. I've only been here three days. I'm not ready to see everyone." She moaned getting slightly worked up. She was still feeling emotionally raw. She was usually a very guarded person and it took a lot for her to open herself up as much as she had the day before. She knew it was necessary and she didn't regret any of it. But she needed a few days to recover and this meant family visits were best left for when she was in a better frame of mind.

"I understand which is why I'm giving you a heads up so you can be prepared when mom tells you. I'm trying to prevent a fight. They are coming whether we want them or not."

"I take that to mean you aren't eager to see them either." Kathryn asked taking a small comfort in the fact that she wasn't the only one who didn't want this to occur.

"After they get done with you then they will start questioning me. Why haven't I gotten married? Don't I want kids? I'm perfectly happy being single and it's a hard pass on children thank you very much." She huffed at the prospect of having to answer these questions.

"Think we could get away before they arrive?" Kathryn asked mentally figuring out who owed her favors. A transporter trip to anywhere would have to be better than staying.

"Only if you plan on getting lost in the delta quadrant for another seven years. Because that's how long you will need to wait before mom isn't mad at us." Phoebe warned her with a look that told her it was a bad idea.

"I can't do this, not today" she cried forgetting to keep her voice down.

"What's wrong?" Chakotay asked. She looked over where he lay but his eyes were still closed.

"My family is coming tonight" she moaned at him.

"Oh" he said opening his eyes and sitting up. He put one hand on her back trying to be supportive and he rubbed his face with the other.

"Yeah, apparently my mother was pressured and she gave in to them."

"Is this a dinner or just an after dinner get together?" He asked being the practical one.

"Mom tried to keep it to an after dinner get together but they wouldn't have it. Guess what? We're having a pot luck." Phoebe announced with mock excitement.

"When are they getting here?" Kathryn grumbled.

"Around 4:30 this afternoon."

"Great less than eight hours to get in a head space where I don't end up yelling at half my family. This is going to go so well" she cried sarcastically. "I need more coffee, a lot more coffee" she added.

"Okay first stop thinking the worst, they are coming we don't have any choice we just have to come up with a way to manage the situation." Chakotay said trying to calm the two sisters.

"I'm all ears" she quickly replied.

"Me too cause I've known these people my whole life and I have nothing that would help." Phoebe added rather pessimistically.

"It seems to me we just need a way to get you away for a few minutes when they become too much for you to handle." He suggested looking at Kathryn and ignoring her sister.

"I agree we do so what is the plan?"

"I might need a few hours to create one but I will find a way. Though it might not hurt if you tried to find your captain's face. Just imagine Neelix has found yet a new way to use leola root and we have to pretend to like it." He suggested and she couldn't help but smile at the idea.

"I wish Neelix could be here now" she moaned missing the Talaxian.

"What is leola root?" Phoebe asked.

"You don't want to know" she replied.

"It's a rather bitter root that doesn't taste very good. It was one of Neelix's favorite cooking ingredients" he explained.

"Glad I missed that."

"You definitely should be. I suppose we should get this over with" Kathryn said referring to the conversation with her mother. She was resigned to her fate and she needed more coffee which meant she had to go downstairs.

Gretchen was on the defensive from the moment the three of them walked into the kitchen. Yet Kathryn didn't really have it left in her to put up much of an argument. This appeared to cause her mother more distress than if she had fought her.

"If they're coming they're coming" she said with a sigh as she poured her coffee. "There doesn't appear to be much that can be done about it. I just wish you had talked with me about it before hand." She added before taking her coffee and heading to the study.

Kathryn didn't miss the sad look in her mother's eyes but she wasn't in a position to do much about it. She was mad and upset that her family was being forced on her and Chakotay without either of them getting to be part of the conversation. But as she had said not much could be done about it now. Now she just needed to find a way through it. She hoped that finding a book to read would help her calm down. As she stood there looking at her father's old books she saw Chakotay come and join her. He didn't say a word he simply put his arms around her and held her. He always seemed to know when words were required and when they weren't needed.

In the end the evening actually went better than she had anticipated. Her family kept their comments on the happy side. Everyone did want to hug her and tell her how much they missed her but they never pushed her for too many details or to talk about their journey. Kathryn wasn't sure if her mother had said something to them or if they could pick up on her reserved mood. Though there were a few times she had to step away to collect her thoughts and emotions. It wasn't anything specific her family did or said but every so often when they expressed how much they missed her she was overcome by the familiar sense of grief. She was reminded of all the people who had been left behind when she had made the decision to destroy the array. Every time she excused herself Chakotay was always there to reassure her or just be there with her. Once more she wondered how she would have made it through without him. It was nearly midnight before they managed to get everyone to leave and all four of them were dead on their feet as they crawled into bed. Kathryn was pretty sure she was asleep before she even felt Chakotay's arms wrap around her.

Day 5

It was late when she woke up the next morning and she opened her eyes to see her sister in her usual place. Phoebe didn't say a word she merely held out the cup of coffee to her. Kathryn was surprised to find the coffee was still hot and gave her sister a questioning look.

"I just refilled it about ten minutes ago. You slept late today but then so did me and mom."

"Last night was exhausting. Mom doesn't have any more surprises, does she?"

"Not that I know of it should just be us…hopefully. You know I still can't believe Uncle Steve asked Chakotay when he was going to ask you to marry him. You told him that the two of you hadn't been in a relationship very long."

"Uncle Steve is of the opinion that when you find the right person there is no reason to wait." She explained as she took a nice long drink.

"He would, he has only been married four times" Phoebe snorted making Kathryn smile.

"I am hoping for a nice quiet day" she signed looking over at the man still sleeping next to her.

"Maybe you two should get out of the house for a little while?" Phoebe suggested surprising her.

"That isn't a bad idea" she admitted even though they had only been staying with her mother for four days she did feel that a trip, just her and Chakotay could be enjoyable and needed.

Ultimately they decided on lunch at their favorite Italian place in San Francisco and then a visit to see Tom and B'Elanna who were currently staying with his parents. It hadn't even been a week since they had all left Voyager but Kathryn realized how much she missed seeing these people every day. The four relaxed and talked about how strange it felt to be home. They even got to play with Miral when she woke up from her afternoon nap. By the time they materialized back at her mother's house the two were feeling happy and relaxed. Once more the relaxed feeling continued through the evening. The dinner conversation was light-hearted, the food was simple and delicious and the wine mellowed everyone out. Kathryn and Chakotay climbed the stairs hand in hand perfectly content with how the day had gone.

Day 6

Kathryn once again woke up feeling relaxed and content and snuggled down further into the warm body curled around her. She found herself dozing as she listened to the birds outside. Eventually she left out a satisfied sigh deciding it was time to open her eyes. She had visions of enjoying her sisters coffee before kicking her out and waking Chakotay in her own special way.

Yet when she opened her eyes she was surprised to discover her sister was not sitting in her usual place. Instead there was a painting propped up in the chair. It took a moment for Kathryn to realize she was looking at a painting of herself sleeping. Clearly there had been more to Phoebe watching her sleep than the younger woman had admitted.

"Oh Phoebe" she cried in wonder as tears threatened to appear.

"What did she do now?" Chakotay mumble next to her.

"Look" she called to him. Dutifully he sat up and investigated.

"It's beautiful" he replied giving her a kiss on the side of her head. "Your sister is very talented and of course the subject is always beautiful." He added sweetly giving her another kiss.

"Its wonderful" she agreed quickly wiping a few tears away.

"I can also tell the painter cares deeply for the subject."

"I never expected she would do something like this for me." Kathryn sighed in amazement.

"You should thank her, but after I have my way with you. I have been waiting to wake up alone with you for days and now I have two of you to look at." He said playfully as he began to pepper her neck with kisses.

"I have been dreaming of this for days as well, just promise me you will focus your attention on the real me and not my portrait." She replied teasing him back.

"Don't worry I won't have any trouble" he agreed and pulled her on top of him.

"This is without a doubt the best way to wake up" she declared kissing him.

"I couldn't agree more" he whispered lovingly in her ear. And Kathryn knew there was no way they would be joining her mother for breakfast any time soon.

—end

a/n When I started writing this I had only intended it to be a short fun little fic and I think it has become something more, certain something longer. Thank you for reading I really appreciate it, I hope it was enjoyable and successful in some way. Also I deeply I apologize for any typos. Please let me know what you think. Thank you!


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